- Over time something builds up between people - emotions.
- Emotions may lead to not listening resulting in a communication with no understanding.
Common understanding
How do you convince someone that you understand them? You don't get to share your opinion (or present "data")
“Reflective listening or talking like a NPC.” - Chat, 2020
| We do | We avoid |
|---|---|
| reflective listening | → sharing opinion |
| validation | → problem solving |
| inquiry | → sympathy with one-upmanship |
eg. “I’m so bored, I have nothing to do” don’t reply with:
× “Why don’t you…” (sharing opinion) × “I think you should…” (problem solving) × “Oh! Wait till you hear how little i have to do.” (sympathy with one-upmanship)
you should say:
✓ “That sounds hard to have nothing to do. Do you feel that way?”
Finding what to convey
How to convey your opinion in a non-judgemental way?
- Reflect: Understand yourself and the other person.
- Summery: Start from their viewpoint or summarise what they said.
- Inquiry: Ask them what they think.
- Make your point.
- Ask them to summarise.
- Repeat.
Source: Psychiatrist Guide to Conversation । Healthy Gamer Webinar #7